Blog Archives

Trailer Reviews for November 29, 2013

FROZEN



It looks cute and funny and everything, but what is it ABOUT? I hate it when animation trailers do this. They spend so much time on all their funny jokes and cute little characters and forget to explain what the hell is going on. So it’s supposed to be summer and everything is frozen. And it has something to do with that girl’s sister… so she must be freezing things… but what the hell for? And what’s her sister supposed to do about it? I mean, I’ll see it, because look what else is playing this week, but still, this is a bad trailer.

HOMEFRONT



Everything in this trailer is utterly ridiculous. Bullying that obvious, boy vs girl, in a school these days? A mom flipping out over it so bad that she calls her drug dealing… whatever… and sics him on the girl’s dad? A meth dealer continuing to harass a guy HE KNOWS WAS A DEA AGENT who just wants to be left alone, thereby ensuring that this guy and/or the DEA will rain fire on his ass? And to top it all off, they claim that no one in town likes this guy or his kid, yet somehow they’re all at her birthday party! Dumb dumb dumb. Anyway, I don’t even need to see it, they showed the entire thing in the trailer.

PHILOMENA



This looks hilarious! I want to see it, but we’re not getting it, so I’ll probably have to wait for the DVD. I’ll be mad if it turns out that her son’s a corrupt politician jackass who doesn’t want to see her, though, especially if I have to wait all that time. I know it doesn’t SEEM like that kind of movie, but it’s possible. It’s based on a true story.

THE ARMSTRONG LIE



“Losing = death.” Well, isn’t that dramatic. I just can’t drum up the energy to give a crap. I mean, I don’t like sports at the best of times, but I find it especially ridiculous when people lie, cheat, steal, backstab, etc. just so they can claim they’re the best at something. I mean… how insecure do you have to be? No way would I pay this issue enough attention to watch a whole movie about it.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailer Reviews for November 22, 2013

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE



I really like the first two books in this series – especially this one because the character of Gale and his obvious suitability to Katniss isn’t so easily dismissed. But the movie version of the first one was disappointing. Drably colored and jerkily filmed, it took away from the important story and the (mostly) good acting (sorry Josh Hutcherson). There’s a new director this time. Obviously he hasn’t done anything about the grey-on-grey color palate. There’s a chance he didn’t give the camera to a palsy sufferer and tell them to shoot the whole movie 3 inches from Jennifer Lawrence’s face, but I can’t really tell. Trailers are all so frenetically cut anyway. I guess I’ll have to see the whole movie to find out.

DELIVERY MAN



I thought this movie looked funny in its original French version. With Vince Vaughn…. slightly less funny. I’m just not a fan of his. And he plays the same character every time – the everyman slacker who’s bitter and sarcastic but somehow ends up with a girlfriend anyway. BUT I will probably see this movie at some point. Why? Because Chris Pratt. I mean, how long did he have to sit there with a straight face and let a little girl slap him to get that scene down? The kids seem okay too, though most of the boys look more like they could be Chris Pratt’s kids than Vince Vaughn’s. Especially the coffee shop kid with the tie.

NEBRASKA



I think the idea of an old guy walking to Nebraska to claim winnings from a bogus sweepstakes accompanied by his skeptical son is funny. I also think Will Forte can be funny. But, watching the trailer… I worry that the movie will be slow and boring. A lot of talking heads. So I’ll probably pass it by.

DAY OF THE DOCTOR



This will also be on TV if you’ve got BBC, but if you don’t and you’re a big Doctor Who fan, you should know that on Saturday, a lot of theaters will be showing it on the big screen. In 3D. So break out your Tom Baker scarves and your Matt Smith bow ties and nerd it up with fellow fans. I won’t be going, though, as I’m not a fan of the new Doctor Who and the only doctors it really features are Matt Smith (#11), David Tennant (#10), and John Hurt (#8.5 sort of). My favorite is #8: Paul McGann.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailer Reviews for Novembe 15, 2013

THE BOOK THIEF



I picked the book up because it was about kids and Nazis, but ended up ditching it after just a few pages for being disjointed and pretentious. It was told from the perspective of Death and there was no setting or description at all, just clumps of words. It drove me nuts. However, I do think that it could be a decent movie. Why? Because it’s not possible to have a movie with no setting or description! That’s what’s on the screen! And look at the trailer – trains! Houses! Tables! Little girls! Concrete things to look at. I have no idea if there’s enough story, though, and the acting seems a little stiff, but I suppose I’ll see it anyway. It’s probably the only new movie we’ll be getting.

BEST MAN HOLIDAY



I didn’t take in any of this trailer at all. I was completely consumed with hatred for the song they were playing over it – Robin Thicke’s rape anthem “Blurred Lines.” The weird thing is, it doesn’t even fit. It doesn’t flow with the scenes at all and the lyrics drown out the dialogue. Also, what the hell is this movie even about? Some people get together. Someone’s not telling someone something. Something else is on YouTube. The guys dance in shiny suits, and then they all flirt with each other. If there’s an overarching story here, I’m missing it.

DEAR MR. WATTERSON



I LOVE CALVIN AND HOBBES. I loved it even when I was a kid and I didn’t get half the jokes. I don’t know if I want to watch a documentary about Bill Watterson, though. It would be too much like looking behind the curtain. Look! There’s the Great and Powerful Oz! He’s just a dude with a pencil! Luckily, he doesn’t seem to be in here at all. It’s just a bunch of people talking about how they also like Calvin and Hobbes.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailer Reviews for November 8, 2013

THOR: THE DARK WORLD



Thor! Hey buddy! Good to see you again! Any chance you’re gonna take a few minutes in this movie to stumble over some hilarious Earth customs? I’d love to be able to add something like ‘Thor Goes to the Grocery Store’ or ‘Thor Uses an ATM’ to my list of potential Marvel picture book plotlines. No? You plan on smashing things and arguing with Loki for two straight hours? Yeah, that’s what the trailer looked like. I just thought I’d ask. I’ll still come, of course. Because there’s Team Thor/Jane/Loki. But in the future, if you want to throw in a little more ‘myeh myeh,’ I’ll be really happy.

KILL YOUR DARLINGS



Ugh. Please, no more Beat Poets! They’re so pretentious and annoying! And the stories about their lives are always so messed up and depressing. I’m sorry, Daniel Radcliffe, you’re very good. But there’s no way I’m seeing this movie.

THE SUMMIT



Looks cool. It’s like the Into Thin Air for K2. They make it seem like there’s a big conspiracy but then one of the reviewer quotes describes it as a cliffhanger… I hope she meant literally because I don’t want to see it if they don’t at least decide on a theory as to what happened to everyone.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailer Reviews for November 1, 2013

ENDER’S GAME



Ender’s Game movie! Woot! I know Orson Scott Card’s jerky behavior has turned a lot of people off this movie, but as the rights holder, he would have been paid yonks ago for this film, so I can’t see how not seeing it will hurt him. Also, I really want to see it. Yeah, Ender is too old. Yeah, there aren’t enough girls in it. Yeah, the sequels are too political and/or religious. But THIS one was awesome because THIS one was about little kids fighting GIANT SPACE BATTLES, which is 95% of what went on in my imagination as a child (FYI, there are still a lot of space battles going on in there). So I have to see it. Seeing it in real life is JUST TOO AWESOME. Who wants to come with me?

LAST VEGAS



Ooh, sorry Last Vegas, you look funny. Morgan Freeman especially, you crack me up. But you’re no competition on Ender’s Game weekend. Come back and see me in a few weeks… or maybe not. Thor: The Dark World comes out next week and after that we’ve got The Book Thief followed by The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. On second thought, Last Vegas, thanks for the entertaining trailer. I will see you on DVD.

FREE BIRDS



Okay, that tiny spherical bird was adorable. But… does this movie involve time travel? Because it kind of looks like it involves time travel. It is way too easy to mess up time travel mechanics, especially when you don’t care about them – you’re just doing it for kiddy laughs. Plus it doesn’t even look that funny. If I want to watch a movie about game birds who want to be free, I’m going to put in my Chicken Run DVD.

ABOUT TIME



Now this one I’m upset about. I love Love Actually and I was really looking forward to seeing this movie. (Yes yes, I know I was just railing about time travel in non-science fiction movies, but since it’s so important to the plot here it must have internal consistency). It looks really sweet. In a funnier, less depressing Time Traveler’s Wife sort of way. But not only is it releasing opposite Ender’s Game, my theater’s not even getting it. Boo

ALL THE WRONG REASONS



Well hello, another Canadian film I might actually watch! (And no, not just because Cory Montieth is dead) Because Kevin Zegers. Because main character with one arm. Because firefighters. Because no touchy. And because hilarious behind-the-scenes Zellers action. Now… all I need is for it to come here.

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB



I used to be able to stomach Matthew McConaughey, but now every time I see his face on screen I have this urge to knock his smirking mug into next week. I know it’s a moving topic and all, but did it have to be him?

DIANA



Part of me is like: ooh! Secrets and drama! But the other part feels like this movie is too much like one of those tabloid tell-alls – full of things that are none of my business.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailer Reviews for October 25, 2013

This is the big week when Empire Theaters becomes Cineplex, so if you live in Atlantic Canada, whether or not your theater opens Thursday or Friday or not for a while may be up in the air. I’m excited to start spending my Scene points, but it does make finding out what’s playing this week a little tricky, as the schedule’s not up. As far as I can tell, these are the movies that are likely to be playing.

ALL IS LOST



I don’t care what all those quotes in the trailer say, this movie looks BORING. One guy alone at sea wasn’t even that interesting when it was Life of Pi, and that guy had a tiger to contend with. Don’t get me wrong, survival at sea makes for a great story. But I think I would like it better as a book.

THE COUNSELOR



Nope. No thanks. And double ‘no’ on the Cormac McCarthy factor. I think Michael Fassbender is great, but even he’s not going to be enough to save this movie for me. This guy has everything – great love, great job, great house so he decides: what the hell – let’s smuggle some drugs! I would find it impossible to sympathize with a guy like that. Plus McCarthy’s books are all depressing as hell.

JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA



I think the studios all got together and decided to release only movies that I would hate this weekend. I can’t stand these movies where they go out in public and act like a**holes just to film bystanders’ reactions. Also, they ripped off that beauty pageant scene from Little Miss Sunshine.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailer Reviews for October 18, 2013

FIFTH ESTATE



Sorry, Fifth Estate movie, but that title doesn’t make me think of Wiki Leaks. It makes me think of CBC documentaries (for those of you who are not Canadian, our national broadcasting corporation runs an investigative documentary series called The Fifth Estate). Why didn’t they just call it Wiki Leaks, I wonder? Everyone knows what that is. Title issues aside, it looks exciting. Lies! Spies! Getting chased! Best friends fighting! Whee! It’s like The Social Network crossed with Mission Impossible (the first one). I didn’t follow the real Wiki Leaks story that closely so I don’t know how it ends (yay ignorance!) Plus, after Daniel-Bruhl-as-Niki-Lauda totally knocked me over, I’d watch (almost) anything with him in it (FYI – he’s the Wiki Leaker who’s not Benedict Cumberbatch).

12 Years a Slave



Oh no! This looks really good too! Not as exciting, of course, but more moving. Life sucked for slaves across the board, but I imagine it would be a lot worse if you knew what it was like to be free beforehand. There’s got to be legal rules/policing on that sort of thing, even back then.
And there’s GOTTA be a happy ending (if there isn’t, I will be mad). So I guess the question is: do I want to be moved or excited? I also have to choose between Chiwetel Ejiofor/Michael Fassbender and Daniel Bruhl. That’s a tough call. And between Benedict Cumberbatch and…. Benedict Cumberbatch (I guess his movies come in Cumberbatches – hur hur). Maybe I’ll save this one for next week.

CARRIE



Nope. This was a movie that did NOT need a remake. The book was very creepy. The original movie was very creepy. The only thing they can really improve on is the special effects, which tends to damage the story. Too many things flying around, not enough character. My money will go elsewhere.

ESCAPE PLAN



I have a couple of questions for this movie. This is a huge prison with many inmates. Who built it? Who paid for it? Who works in it? How to they manage to kidnap and imprison high profile baddies without one anybody’s friends/family finding out about the prison and demanding their friend/family member’s release, a la Guantanamo Bay? If you’re going to break the law that obviously, wouldn’t it make more sense (and be a lot cheaper) to just kill all these guys? Especially when it comes to the PROFESSIONAL PRISON BREAKER. If I could get past that (I probably couldn’t) it looks like it could be an okay movie… except for that vegetarian line. That doesn’t even make any sense, but at least they didn’t say ‘girl.’

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailer Reviews for October 9, 2013

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS



I know this is supposed to be a big movie, but I’m feeling pretty meh about it. If there’s no actor I like in a movie (I’m not a Tom Hanks fan, scream about it all you want but you’re not going to change my mind), then I need to at least be learning something. What it’s like in another country, how a person might react to a situation, or even just how the plot turns out. But I don’t really feel like this movie has any surprises for me. The plot is obvious. There’s a ship. It’s taken over by pirates. The captain tries to protect the crew. Navy SEALs descend on them. The end. I’ve already seen movies about how it sucks when you’re poor and sometimes you have to steal to survive even if you’re a good person. I already know how SEALs operate. And I’ve seen plenty of movies about heroic ordinary people. And I hate hostage situations. So I think I’m going to skip this one.

THE RIGHT KIND OF WRONG



I guess after four months, it’s okay to tell you that I’ve seen this movie already. I was in the test audience when they screened it in Toronto in June. As soon as they handed me the flyer, I knew I wanted to see it, and not just because of Ryan Kwanten. I loved the idea of a girlfriend spilling all her bile about him in a blog which became a book and a talk show phenomenon, because let’s face it – it could happen. There’s no privacy these days. People air all their dirty laundry online, and some of it has other people in it. Plus it just plain looked funny. I loved it, and I’ll (finally) be able to write a review for you this weekend.

ROMEO AND JULIET



Ugh, why? There are thousands of stories in the public domain. There are dozens of other Shakespeare plays (most of them happier than this one) and only a handful of them ever get made. Why can’t they make something else? I’m so sick of endless remakes in general and of Romeo and Juliet in particular. It’s just so soppy and depressing. I’d see Right Kind of Wrong Again (I’d PAY to watch Leap Year again) before I went to this movie.

MACHETE KILL



Okay, so I saw the poster for this and I was all set to say I’d never see it, then I actually watched the trailer and saw how intentionally ridiculous it was. He can’t be electrocuted, has a knife in his iPhone, and fights ladies with machine-gun corsets. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of action movies are ALMOST as goofy, but when you play it up intentionally it can be really funny. I thought Shoot ‘Em Up was great. I probably wouldn’t pay ten bucks to see it in theater, but someday I’ll give it the old Netflix try for sure.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailers for October 4, 2013

GRAVITY



I’m really looking forward to this movie. I think it could be really scary. Which is weird, because I didn’t think Open Water was anything but boring, and this is essentially the same setup: two people. Lost. Featureless landscape. Running out of something (in this case air, in Open Water, it was the energy to keep swimming). So why is it more interesting? Well space, obviously, is much prettier and deadlier than the ocean. Also, with the things crashing into other things, it looks like there’s more action – like the characters have something to do besides float around and talk about how screwed they are. But I guess we’ll see if they managed two whole hours of interesting.

RUNNER RUNNER



Okay, if this guy’s too poor to pay his tuition, where does he get the money to fly over and confront the online poker site owner? Also, if he’s so smart, why doesn’t he have a scholarship? And why doesn’t he realize online gambling is a dumb way to get tuition money? And why can’t he pull his head out of his ass for long enough to think that maybe confronting an international criminal could be dangerous? I don’t think this guy is very smart at all. I think he’s just smart enough to convince himself he’s an invincible genius, which of course leads to nothing but trouble. Also, they stole that crocodile scene from Romancing the Stone. A good showing, Ben Affleck and Justin Timberlake, but I’m not interested.

PARKLAND



Americans are obsessed with the Kennedy assassination. I can’t even count how many books and movies I’ve read/seen pushing some sort of insane conspiracy involving everything from the CIA to aliens. It’s refreshing to see a movie that’s NOT trying to push a conspiracy theory but just trying to illuminate the little-known people on the periphery of the event who would have been affected just as much as the big players. Like Zac Efron the baby-faced doctor trying to put a man’s blown-off head back together while the entire world looks over his shoulder. I’d watch it.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Trailer Reviews for September 27, 2013

RUSH



I was raised by Formula 1 fans, so I know my Michael Schumachers from my Fernando Alonsos. However, until I saw the trailer for this movie, I’d never heard of Niki Lauda or James Hunt, probably because their rivalry played out back in the 70s, which was pretty much ancient history as far as I was concerned, even when I was watching races with my parents on a fairly regular basis. Because I don’t know the story, I’m that much more excited for the movie. Why? Because I have no idea how it plays out. Who wins? Who loses? Does anyone die? The trailer doesn’t give it away either, so seeing this film on Friday should be pretty exciting!

CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2



I really liked the first Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. It was just so completely bonkers. And it has a great title – no chance of getting a lot of extraneous results searching for THAT monster on Google! I’m sad that I’m going to miss the sequel. The trailer actually made me laugh! Shrimpanzees! Mosqui-toast! A leek in the boat! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! ‘Course, it’s only funny if you know what a leek is, so that’s kind of a parent joke. I had hoped I could fit it into my schedule next week, but next week is Gravity and after that Captain Phillips is coming… so I don’t know. This may be something I’ll have to catch on DVD.

AT ANY PRICE



The blurb for this movie starts off with ‘In the competitive world of modern…’ which makes you think it’s going to be a sports movie, but then it goes ‘agriculture’ and you go: ‘what?’ And then they switch from farming to race car driving anyway, because I guess even the movie realizes that farming is too boring to support a whole movie (though I would point to MacLeod’s Daughters to disprove that theory). A couple of weird things though: what did they do that could ruin them and why are the wind turbines the only things that make this movie look like it’s set later than the 90s?

BAGGAGE CLAIM



I feel like it’s been ages since a romantic comedy has come near my theater. We’ve been so overloaded with big budget super movies and 3D animation and gut wrenching drama that I could really use a nice relaxing romantic comedy. The premise is a little thin (but they always are with rom coms) and it’s not very original (similar thing to The Ex-List and What’s Your Number?) and it’s not obvious from the trailer who her soul mate is supposed to be (which makes me a little nervous). But it looks like it fits together well and (this is the important part) is looks FUNNY. “Nobody move! I have no life, which gives me all day to ruin yours!” Priceless! But what are the odds we’ll actually get this in my theater?

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
Page 4 of 21« First...«23456»1020...Last »

SUBSCRIBE TO ZE EMAILS

Subscribe to Ze Feeds

Archives

More Ads By Google

Links by Google