Blog Archives

Poll of the Week: Michael Bay and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Transformers, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street just weren’t enough. In his continuing obsession with trying to revitalize the 1980s (otherwise known as “the good old days” when he was living the high life as Goon #3 on Miami Vice),  Michael Bay has signed on with Nickelodeon and Paramount to reboot the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.

Personally, I think lank eyed Japanese style reboot from a few years ago wasn’t enough of an assault on our childhoods, but this is a poll, so what do you think?

Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles will:

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Be nostalgic and buy some Ninja Turtles stuff

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Shrek Forever After Review

image copyright Dreamworks Animation
First of all, I should admit that I’ve never really been a Shrek devotee. I’ve never been able to get behind the Shrek series the same way I fell in love with other animated films like Finding Nemo or even Cars.

Maybe it’s just because its Dreamworks (who are perpetually coming in second to Pixar) or maybe it’s because Shrek isn’t cute. But I went to see them all in theaters anyway (I even own Shrek 2 on DVD), so I had to go see this one too – in 3D, naturally. It’s getting so that 2D is uncool.

If you’re coming into this review without a solid idea of what the film’s about or have somehow managed not to see the trailer 5,000 times while watching TV, here’s the gist of it:

Shrek, a family-ogre having a midlife crisis, is tricked into signing his life away by the mischievous Rumpelstiltskin and has to enlist the aid of his old pals Donkey, Puss in Boots, and Fiona (who now no longer know him) to get things back to the way they were.

If this sounds an awful lot like the plot of the second Shrek movie, where Shrek uses magic to fix his problems and ends up screwing everything up, you’re very perceptive. Because this movie is a lot like that, only less imaginative.

Read More

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

How to Train Your Dragon Review


Since its inception, Dreamworks, as an animation studio, has trailed behind its primary competitor, Pixar. In pair-up after pair-up, Pixar’s are always the funny, warm-hearted, timeless classics, and Dreamworks’ are the pop-culture hobbled toilet humor fests with the depth of a teaspoon. Dreamworks has collaborated with other studios to produce Pixar-comparable films (such as Chicken Run and Flushed Away, which were done in conjunction with British animation studio Aardman.) But it’s not until now that I’ve really felt Dreamworks has made a truly stellar film all on its own.

How to Train Your Dragon is that film. It’s rare find among family films: a movie that kids will love but that parents won’t want to drill through their own heads to escape (as if you need an example, but: Chipmunks 2: The Squeakuel). In fact, there were plenty of adults in the theater, myself included, that had come out to see it on our own, without even using a young cousin as an excuse. The story goes something like this:

When Hiccup, a young Viking without much skill for fighting, brings down a type of dragon so rare that no one’s ever seen one, he finds himself making friends with it rather than fighting to the death with it in the Viking tradition.

Read More

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Valentine’s Day Movies for the Rest of Us

If you love romantic movies, there are about ten million possibilities if you want to watch a film on Valentine’s Day, most of which are helpfully packaged in pink and red at Wal-Mart to help menfolk who are out shopping for their ladies. Romantic movies run the gamut from tearjerking same-sex epics to wholesome teen musicals in an attempt to hit every possible demographic.

But what about the rest of us, who don’t like romantic movies? We who gag at the mention of Nicholas Sparks and have had to have our eyeballs surgically removed from the backs of our heads after watching Another Cinderella Story? What is there for us to watch on Valentine’s Day? Believe it or not, whether you’re a misanthrope or a serial killer, there’s a love story out there for you.

Read More

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Top 5/Bottom 5 Movies of 2009

First let me say that I’m not a professional movie critic. I actually have to PAY for all of my tickets, so naturally I haven’t seen everything, and I’m not putting movies on my list that I haven’t seen.

I was going to do Top 10 and Bottom 10 in separate articles, but then I realized that nearly half of the movies I’d seen would have to be on one list or the other (I counted, I’ve seen 42 movies this year, five of them more than once), so I pared it down to 5 of each.

There are some films (Hurt Locker and Bright Star in particular) that might have been on the “top” list if I’d seen them, but they never came to Sydney. I also tend to avoid movies if I think they’re going to be bad, so the ones on this list are the ones that slipped through my filters and/or I was dragged to by friends.

That said, on with the best and worst films I’ve seen in theaters in 2009.

Read More

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Kitty Stereotypes and Fab Film Felines

This week I wanted to do a cat version of the article I did last week and lay out my top ten favorite movies about cats.

…And then I realized that I could count on one hand the number of movies I’d seen that were actually ABOUT cats, and most of them started with “G” and ended in “arfield.”

It’s not that I couldn’t be happy watching Garfield’s Halloween and Christmas specials on an endless loop…


hand over yer booty!

…but that might drive some other, weaker minds to eat themselves in a desperate attempt to end the agony.

So instead, we’re going to explore kitty stereotyping in film and some of my favorite exceptions to the Hollywood rule.

Read More

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Top Dogs: Ten Canine Stories to Watch With a Pal

When you’re sitting down with someone to watch a movie, whether it be a friend, a significant other, a pet, or a family member, there’s nothing better to put on than a film about dogs.

Why? Because watching a heartwarming story about friendship turns the experience from “killing a couple hours on the couch” to “bonding time.”

image by Rennett Stowe on Flickr
How could you look at this face and not think “yay camaraderie!”

I’ve ranked ten canine films based on their story and cute dog appeal, with extra ratings for sap factor (1 tree for heartwarming to 5 trees for dripping with melodrama), number of tears jerked (1 tear per sob worthy scene), and campiness (1 tent for serious, 5 tents for off the wall), which should help you decide what you’re in the mood for/what your kids can handle.

So pop some popcorn, pour some drinks, flop on the couch, and prepare to cheer for the underdog!

Read More

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

The Top Ten Reasons Why Kids TV Was Better in the Early 90’s

I love the Fairly Odd Parents, Rugrats, and Spongebob Squarepants as much as the next cartoon fiend, but you gotta admit, we had it better when we were kids. Here are the top ten reasons why I think so.


10. There were actioney shows that didn’t induce seizures.

THEN


Let’s get in a space battle – in realtime!

NOW


Argh! In ten minutes when I throw the next blow you’ll be in trouble!


9. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had eyeballs.

THEN


Cowabunga, dudes! You can tell where we’re looking!

NOW


It’s okay, kids. It’s just a reflection of our inner soullessness.


8. The Popples didn’t have ebola.

THEN


Here we are all nice and healthy…

NOW


BAM! We got the pox!


7. There weren’t 17,000 redundant Care Bears.

THEN


Luck, Friendship, Sleepyness…

NOW


….and Propaganda??


6. The Scooby gang was (counterintuitively) older and more mature.

THEN


Zounds! In twenty years we’ll be…

NOW


….twelve??


5. Environmentalism was cool.


Ignore us. In twenty years drilling for oil in wildlife sanctuaries will be cool.


4. We’d actually heard of classic literature.


Thanks largely to dogs dressing up.


3. Educational TV made you smarter, not dumber.

THEN


LeVar Burton rocks my world.

NOW


Um…wait…I know this one…


2. We didn’t grow up learning ESL as a first language.

THEN


We could even make English words from OTHER english words!

NOW


Oh no! I am displeasure! My lip movements with my words do not match!


1. Cookie Monster wasn’t a hobo!!

THEN


Welcome to Monsterpiece Theater. My name is Alastair Cookie.

NOW


Who lives in a park? Honestly!

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Captain Planet

That’s right, children. It’s time to talk about our favorite planet-saving mulleted early 90’s superhero:

CAPTAIN PLANET

and his ring-bearing friends, one from each continent (left to right):

MATI (South America) with the power of HEART (which equals Doctor-Doolittle-eque powers)

GI (Asia) with the power of WATER (ie. control over wet things)

KWAME (Africa) with the power of EARTH (ie. control over seismic activity and ground related things)

WHEELER (North America) with the power of FIRE (ie. his ring is like a flamethrower)

LINKA (Europe) with the power of WIND (ie. can move more air than a normal person)

and JED (Oceania) with the power of INVISIBILITY (ie. his continent wasn’t important enough to warrant a Planeteer)

And when they combine their powers, they create:

CAPTAIN PLANET Captain Planet has all of their powers, plus he’s blue!

I guess individually the Planeteers were so dumb that if they tried to combine their strengths by working together they’d end up blowing in an army of dirty, flaming gerbils:

…to spit the bad guys into submission.

Anyway, say what you want about its cheesiness, but you have to admit it was way ahead of its time! The government is only now starting to push people toward being environmentally friendly.

But we, the planeteer generation say: way ahead of you! We knew the power was ours long ago. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go trim our green mulletts.

Buy Captain Planet Stuff

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
Page 19 of 19« First...10«1516171819

SUBSCRIBE TO ZE EMAILS

Subscribe to Ze Feeds

Archives

Links by Google