The big twist from Insidious (which they don’t reveal in this trailer, so I won’t say what it is) was so bizarre and unusual that it’s really not possible for them to replicate the feel of that movie in a sequel. Unless they plan on assuming the audience hasn’t seen the first movie, they’ll just have to proceed as if their secrets are being taken as read and move on. Unfortunately there’s nowhere to move on to. They’re pretty much confined to replicating the events from the first movie – this trailer bears that out. It could be the trailer for the first one except the kid in danger is a different one this time. Once was enough for me, so I won’t be seeing it.
The title is boring and generic, which will make it difficult for people to get results when Googling it, but the movie looks like it could be okay. It may be a little difficult to like people who blow up grocery stores just because they feel insulted, but the sheer ridiculousness of their overreactions could be funny. I just hope they don’t abandon the comedic premise halfway through and switch to destroying half of France in a giant gun battle. But it seems likely that’s exactly what will happen, given that it’s directed by the guy who did Taken. And the fact that the trailer contains at least three explosions. But if this is the only other thing we’re getting, I guess I’ll take it.
I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d rather stay home this week than pay $11.50 to see another Riddick movie. Money’s tight and must not be wasted on franchises that are really one-offs which have overstayed their welcome. However, NOT seeing Riddick (and therefore being ignorant of the plot details) put me in the unique position of being able to create a best-guess story pieced together from the results of a Google image search for ‘Riddick,’ which, let’s face it, will probably be more entertaining than the real plot of the movie anyway.
So on we go with:
I read the original Mortal Instruments trilogy several years ago and really liked it. Reading it directly after Twilight gave me a special degree of appreciation for its heroine with a personality, complex world, villains who do things, and actual battles that actually happen. I remember thinking that it would make a good movie, and now the first one, City of Bones has arrived.
A teenage artist discovers she comes from a race of secret demon hunters after her mother is kidnapped.
I’ve heard from other people who’ve seen it that it deviates quite a lot from the plot in the book, but it’s been a few years since I read the book and I didn’t notice anything glaringly different except for a few minor things, which is to be expected when you’re cramming 485 pages of story into a 120 page movie script. And apart from a few minor glitches, I liked it.
This movie looks good. We’ve got some Eric Bana, some Julia Stiles (whom I haven’t seen in a movie in like ten years) and a huge dollop of Spooks (MI-5 on this side of the pond). The only problem I can see is that they gave most of it away in the trailer. Let’s review what we know, shall we? There was a terrorist attack. The bomber was caught. Two lawyers are assigned to defend him. With a journalist’s help they discover MI-5 were responsible for getting him into the country and setting him up in a terrorist cell as a double agent. MI-5 uses closed circuit cameras to try and bump them off before the trial brings everything to light. Am I missing anything? Apart from a non-Bana reason to pay $11.50 to see it again, but longer?
Taken – sorry, Getaway is the story of a guy whose female family member was kidnapped by bad people and who has to wreck a lot of stuff to get her back. Geez, how many times are they going to make this movie? The only things that are different about it are the fact that they also ripped off The Fast and the Furious (the bit where they’re driving around very fast in cool cars to steal things) and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (where he’s got a young punk ass hacker girl helping him). Actually, now that I watch it again, I realize I’m wrong. It’s not a movie, it’s a two hour ad for the Ford Mustang.
THE SPECTACULAR NOW
Yes, enjoy your impulsiveness and popularity now, children, because soon you will have JOBS and STUDENT LOANS and RESPONSIBILITIES and if you try to cling too hard to your youth, you will end up becoming that creepy person who works at Staples, lives in their parents’ basement, and tries to get drunk with high schoolers every night! Bwahahahahahaha!
ONE DIRECTION: THIS IS US
No. Just… no. Though I have to say, I did enjoy the graphic of the big red band logo spreading across the world like a hemorrhagic fever.
I’ve always preferred British comedies to American ones and Hot Fuzz is one of the all time funniest movies I’ve ever seen. So when the choice came up between another Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg/Nick Frost comedy and the City of Bones adaptation, I went for The World’s End, which should not be confused with This is the End, another apocalypse comedy which is terrible and American.
Five friends return to their hometown to conquer the Golden Mile, a local pub crawl they failed as teens, only to find their town has been taken over by robots.
Before seeing The World’s End I wouldn’t have thought this was possible, but I’m meh on a Wright/Pegg/Frost movie. It was slow to start, hilarious in the middle, and kind of fell apart at the end. Easily my least favorite of their movies. I may even go so far as to say I chose the wrong movie to see, but that will have to wait until next week when I see City of Bones.
MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES
I really liked this book, and not just because I read it right after Twilight, when anything that didn’t actively insult my intelligence would have seemed fantastic. I liked that the main character was a girl who got to have powers of her own and that the world had actual details and that there were plenty of battles. I thought it would make a good movie, but now that the movie is here I’m not that thrilled about it. Why? Casting. Lily Collins and Kevin Zegers seem like good picks, but who cast the hero’s big love interest as a scrawny, girly, way-too-old guy? He’s like some sketchbag biker version of one of those androgynous boys from the manga comics. The bizarre casting is enough to push this movie to #2 spot, which means I probably won’t get to it until next week, if at all.
THE WORLD’S END
I love these guys. After they piled Hot Fuzz on top of Shaun of the Dead they earned a free pass for life. It might not have been enough to get them chosen over City of Bones without that movie’s casting fail, though. For some reason the pub crawl doesn’t seem like enough of a goal, even considering the robots. In Shaun of the Dead they were trying to live through a zombie apocalypse, in Hot Fuzz they were trying to save the town, but in this one they’re trying to, well, get drunk. Not exactly enthralling, but it WILL be funny, I can trust in that much.
IN A WORLD
I really want to see this movie, for several reasons. 1) It looks funny. 2) I love it when movies do fake movie trailers for pretend movies (think of all those fake trailers from Tropic Thunder). 3) It’s an inside look at a job I know nothing about. The closest I’ve ever seen to this was in The Holiday when Cameron Diaz and Jack Black were trailer editor/musicians. 4) I was just reading a bunch of articles about sexism in the film industry and I’d be really interested in hearing about sexism in the film spinoff industries too. ALAS (again) it will probably take forever for it to come my way.
I don’t understand the point of this movie. It seems to have something to do with hunting or animal revenge, but the people being hunted are just some stupid family who haven’t even done anything to deserve it and the animals are just guys in masks. Plus it would be a lot scarier if they didn’t show the killer so much. If we can see him, we know where he is, and if we know where he is, we’re not twisted up in knots wondering if he’s going to be around the next corner. So no thanks. I prefer horror movies that are actually horrifying.