Disney has been taking a lot of flak lately for how old fashioned their Princess line is. The princesses are too white. Too pink. Too rich. Too blonde. Too skinny. Too hung up on finding a man, etc. None of it, however, seems to have made a dent in their bottom line, so we can expect them to continue making princess movies (albeit with the odd concession to reality) until the end of time. The latest is Frozen.
A lonely Norse princess teams up with a hermit, a reindeer, and a snowman to talk her superpowered sister into unfreezing their kingdom.
As with the last two princess movies, Brave and The Princess and the Frog, Disney has attempted to be more modern with Frozen, but at the same time they’ve tried to hearken back to the old days by making it a musical. The result is cute and funny, but I just didn’t feel like it worked as a story.
It looks cute and funny and everything, but what is it ABOUT? I hate it when animation trailers do this. They spend so much time on all their funny jokes and cute little characters and forget to explain what the hell is going on. So it’s supposed to be summer and everything is frozen. And it has something to do with that girl’s sister… so she must be freezing things… but what the hell for? And what’s her sister supposed to do about it? I mean, I’ll see it, because look what else is playing this week, but still, this is a bad trailer.
Everything in this trailer is utterly ridiculous. Bullying that obvious, boy vs girl, in a school these days? A mom flipping out over it so bad that she calls her drug dealing… whatever… and sics him on the girl’s dad? A meth dealer continuing to harass a guy HE KNOWS WAS A DEA AGENT who just wants to be left alone, thereby ensuring that this guy and/or the DEA will rain fire on his ass? And to top it all off, they claim that no one in town likes this guy or his kid, yet somehow they’re all at her birthday party! Dumb dumb dumb. Anyway, I don’t even need to see it, they showed the entire thing in the trailer.
This looks hilarious! I want to see it, but we’re not getting it, so I’ll probably have to wait for the DVD. I’ll be mad if it turns out that her son’s a corrupt politician jackass who doesn’t want to see her, though, especially if I have to wait all that time. I know it doesn’t SEEM like that kind of movie, but it’s possible. It’s based on a true story.
THE ARMSTRONG LIE
“Losing = death.” Well, isn’t that dramatic. I just can’t drum up the energy to give a crap. I mean, I don’t like sports at the best of times, but I find it especially ridiculous when people lie, cheat, steal, backstab, etc. just so they can claim they’re the best at something. I mean… how insecure do you have to be? No way would I pay this issue enough attention to watch a whole movie about it.
THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE
I really like the first two books in this series – especially this one because the character of Gale and his obvious suitability to Katniss isn’t so easily dismissed. But the movie version of the first one was disappointing. Drably colored and jerkily filmed, it took away from the important story and the (mostly) good acting (sorry Josh Hutcherson). There’s a new director this time. Obviously he hasn’t done anything about the grey-on-grey color palate. There’s a chance he didn’t give the camera to a palsy sufferer and tell them to shoot the whole movie 3 inches from Jennifer Lawrence’s face, but I can’t really tell. Trailers are all so frenetically cut anyway. I guess I’ll have to see the whole movie to find out.
I thought this movie looked funny in its original French version. With Vince Vaughn…. slightly less funny. I’m just not a fan of his. And he plays the same character every time – the everyman slacker who’s bitter and sarcastic but somehow ends up with a girlfriend anyway. BUT I will probably see this movie at some point. Why? Because Chris Pratt. I mean, how long did he have to sit there with a straight face and let a little girl slap him to get that scene down? The kids seem okay too, though most of the boys look more like they could be Chris Pratt’s kids than Vince Vaughn’s. Especially the coffee shop kid with the tie.
I think the idea of an old guy walking to Nebraska to claim winnings from a bogus sweepstakes accompanied by his skeptical son is funny. I also think Will Forte can be funny. But, watching the trailer… I worry that the movie will be slow and boring. A lot of talking heads. So I’ll probably pass it by.
DAY OF THE DOCTOR
This will also be on TV if you’ve got BBC, but if you don’t and you’re a big Doctor Who fan, you should know that on Saturday, a lot of theaters will be showing it on the big screen. In 3D. So break out your Tom Baker scarves and your Matt Smith bow ties and nerd it up with fellow fans. I won’t be going, though, as I’m not a fan of the new Doctor Who and the only doctors it really features are Matt Smith (#11), David Tennant (#10), and John Hurt (#8.5 sort of). My favorite is #8: Paul McGann.
Thor isn’t my favorite superhero. He’s not even my favorite Avenger. But when I’m ranking my favorite standalone films, Thor’s come second only to Iron Man’s. Why? Two reasons: hilarity and scienceyness. Thor was hilarious in the first half and then mostly gave way to smashing and arguing, and when I saw the trailer for The Dark World I was worried it would be ALL smashing and arguing.
Thor enlists his untrustworthy brother Loki’s help when dark elves try to unleash a weapon that will turn the universe into dark matter.
Luckily, my fears were completely unfounded. Thor: the Dark World was peppered with jokes and fun scienceyness all the way through, which officially makes it even better than the first film. I loved it and if you’re into sci-fi or action comedies, I think you will too, even if you haven’t seen Thor or The Avengers.
THOR: THE DARK WORLD
Thor! Hey buddy! Good to see you again! Any chance you’re gonna take a few minutes in this movie to stumble over some hilarious Earth customs? I’d love to be able to add something like ‘Thor Goes to the Grocery Store’ or ‘Thor Uses an ATM’ to my list of potential Marvel picture book plotlines. No? You plan on smashing things and arguing with Loki for two straight hours? Yeah, that’s what the trailer looked like. I just thought I’d ask. I’ll still come, of course. Because there’s Team Thor/Jane/Loki. But in the future, if you want to throw in a little more ‘myeh myeh,’ I’ll be really happy.
KILL YOUR DARLINGS
Ugh. Please, no more Beat Poets! They’re so pretentious and annoying! And the stories about their lives are always so messed up and depressing. I’m sorry, Daniel Radcliffe, you’re very good. But there’s no way I’m seeing this movie.
Looks cool. It’s like the Into Thin Air for K2. They make it seem like there’s a big conspiracy but then one of the reviewer quotes describes it as a cliffhanger… I hope she meant literally because I don’t want to see it if they don’t at least decide on a theory as to what happened to everyone.
Apologies for the late review. I’ve been having problems with my home internet connection.
As a space-battle obsessed kid, I was a big fan of Ender’s Game. I even read the sequels, though most of them were too religious/political for my liking. Orson Scott Card’s opinions on religion and politics also threatened to ruin this movie because they pissed off potential ticket buyers.
To save humanity from a second alien invasion, a young prodigy trains to lead an attack fleet by playing war games.
If you’re are a fan of Ender’s Game or space battles but not a fan of Orson Scott Card’s opinions, you should know that boycotting the movie won’t hurt him. He was paid off for the rights long ago, so your money will go to the studio to encourage them to make more movies about space battles. Which they should, because this one is pretty awesome.