Trailer Reviews for March 22, 2013

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN



When I first read the name of this movie in the Coming Soon lists I thought it might be another Greek mythology movie, but I think this might actually be worse than The Titans Do Something Angrily Part 3. They had me interested in Gerard Butler’s character when he had to make a tough call about leaving Mrs. President in the car, but then they got into the real point of the movie which is… ridiculous. Like: plot-of-a-video-game ridiculous (I’m looking at you, Modern Warfare series). Armed airplanes swanning into White House airspace, barely two dozen random terrorists who are possibly North Korean toppling the whole Secret Service and then NOT KILLING the president for some weird reason? Isn’t that like terrorist goal #1? This movie looks dumber than Red Dawn, and it doesn’t even have that dopey kid from Drake and Josh in it!

THE CROODS



Oh Dreamworks… I thought we were going to leave the history-massacring animated movies to Twentieth Century Fox? And speaking of Twentieth Century Fox, isn’t the whole plot of this movie (Earth breaking up – must move!) plus the character of the annoying/abusive granny, lifted wholesale from Ice Age: Continental Drift? If they’re trying to compete against Ice Age, I already know they’re going to lose. This trailer didn’t make me laugh even once. I think they’re trying too hard to impress us with their colorful plants and starry skies and skimping on the originality (remind you of any other movies you know? *cough*Avatar*cough). We know you can do nice things with computers, movie studios. We’re not impressed anymore. Give us back our good stories.

ADMISSION



If this movie starred anyone other than Tina Fey and Paul Rudd, I would skip over it without a second glance. I didn’t laugh at the trailer. They gave almost the entire thing away (WHY would you ever think it would be a good idea to stick the “he’s your son!” revelation into the TRAILER?!) and on top of that… it just feels kinda blah. A comedy from the perspective of an admissions officer who’s getting bombarded with every sob story and rambling, narcissistic essay in the nation is original and could be really funny. But then they had to go and muddy it up with the “I’m suddenly a mom” thing, which could be funny (but isn’t) and certainly isn’t original. Poorly done, movie. Poorly done. And a waste of Tina Fey!

WELCOME TO THE PUNCH



Two things struck me about this trailer: 1) it is extremely blue. Like Smurf blue or Avatar blue. I’m pretty sure that’s not what they were going for. 2) It’s very laconic for an action movie or a thriller or a crime movie or whatever this is. I wondered why, and then I saw Ridley Scott’s name, and I thought: mystery solved. I like both James MacAvoy and Mark Strong, but this trailer has not made me want to see their movie.

KNIFE FIGHT



So… this has surprisingly few knives and fights for a movie called Knife Fight, though I suppose I should at least give them half points for talking a lot about metaphorical knife fighting. I’m not really sure what this movie is about, though. A political fixer who’s working for both sides in the election? That could be funny… though the trailer was pretty low energy. Overall I was not enthralled.

INAPPROPRIATE COMEDY



Didn’t I already disparage a terrible sketch comedy film starring famous people this month? Wasn’t it called Movie 43? I was barely ten seconds into the trailer and I already wanted to stop watching. I can’t see myself paying actual money to see this unfunny. I’m not a masochist.

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