iPod Stereo

The folks at Apple have spend millions (billions?) of dollars convincing us that we’re not cool unless we buy their products. Toward that end, they’re constantly coming out with newer, shinier, more unnecessary objects that suddenly everyone can’t live without (example: iPod). Why do they do all this? Because they want our money, of course!

Well Apple, if you want money, what’s better than having every teenager in the world buy an iPod to watch teensy tiny movies on? That’s right: having every teenager in the world buy TWO iPods to watch teensy tiny movies on!

How will we accomplish this, you ask? Simple. Modify the new iPods so that when two iPods are placed next to one another, they are able to simultaneously play the same video. If the viewer places one iPod in front of each eyeball: voila!

I call it: iPod Stereo. Like a pair of binoculars, it creates a 3-D like effect in your brain – the illusion of depth!  This is doubly appropriate because Apple likes to create the illusion that their products have depth (i.e. usefulness) when in reality they’re only meeting a demand that they themselves created through marketing the product (though there are possible exceptions for arty pursuits). And what’s more, you can even charge them extra for a little pair of plastic glasses to mount their two iPods in.

So I say to you, Apple, scheming money out of magpie teenagers: there’s an app for that!

Buy an iPod… or two

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