Usually when I do an “in the news” segment, I form a more complex opinion of one story. But today I’m feeling a little attention deficit, so here’s a bunch of little opinions on some entertainment news headlines I lifted from the IMDB news page.
Conan O’Brien Adds Acting to His Sizzling Summer Sked
“Sked?” For Christ’s sake, how did you pass journalism school without learning how to spell?
Jackass Stars Pay Their Respects at Memorial Service for Ryan Dunn
Ryan Dunn, who died tragically of his own stupidity.
Elisabetta Canalis Steps Out with Her Dogs Post-Split
OMG! You mean celebrities’ dogs need to be walked, too? … or do you mean she had an affair with them?
Justin Bieber Gets Tackled at Macy’s
.Nobody’s really sure whether it was an assassination attempt or just an extremely over-the-top marriage proposal
‘Harry Potter’ Author J.K. Rowling Launches E-Book Store
Because she just doesn’t have enough money yet.
Lindsay Lohan Ordered to Stop Parties During House Arrest
To be fair, she did stay home like she was supposed to…
‘Transformers 3’ opens in Russia, with love
So either Michael Bay hit his head and accidentally made a good movie, or Russians have bad taste.
Will the Entourage Gang Get a Happy Ending? Get Final-Season Scoop from the Cast
I’m sure they’ve had plenty of “happy endings” over the years, if you catch my drift.