Opening this weekend: Red, Jackass 3, Nowhere Boy, Stone, and Force of Nature: The David Suzuki Movie. Plus the Cape Breton Island Film Series also is showing The Last Train Home.
Before now, when action stars got old, they just kept on doing the exact same thing they always did – taking roles written for 30 somethings. They ended up perving on love interests who were like half their age (I’m looking at you, Sean Connery) but at least they got to pretend they weren’t old. But the current crop of aging action heroes (ok, pretty much just Bruce Willis) is trying something new – acting their age. So here’s a movie about retired action heroes sticking it to the youngins. Fair enough. As a youngin I can’t say I object to other youngins being stuck to if they’ve got it coming. I can even overlook the fact that most of the action stunts they have to do even in the trailer would probably result in them all needing hip replacements, because it looks funny (Helen Mirren as an assassin!). And funny goes a long way with me.
The Darwin Awards are an “honor” bestowed upon morons who accidentally remove themselves from the gene pool, thereby insuring that their particular brand of stupidity doesn’t make it into the next generation. With the TV show and two prior movies, I would’ve thought the Jackass people would’ve earned theirs a long time ago. They haven’t, but I’m sure some of their fans have. Oh sure, they have a disclaimer telling people not to try that stuff at home, but Jackass devotees aren’t exactly the kind of people who obey disclaimers (or instruction manuals or laws or expert advice etc. etc.) Jackass 3 is just Johnny Knoxville and his buddies doing another series of stunts, this time in 3D. I think you can tell I have no interest in seeing it.
Sometimes I think I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t like the Beatles. Some of you probably just gasped in horror when I said that, and are now seriously considering boycotting this website. Fair enough. But you can’t change my mind. It’s not that I don’t know who the Beatles are. I do. It’s not that I haven’t heard their music. I have. It’s just that it doesn’t do anything for me. Nowhere Boy, however, isn’t just about playing Beatles music and making no sense (like Across the Universe). It’s a movie about a boy, making friends, starting a band, having relationships and problems and whatnot. In other words, it’s actually a story. And I like stories. So I’ll probably see Nowhere Boy. (On a side note – look how grown up little Thomas Sangster is getting! Awww!)
Hmm. Well, I’m not quite sure what to make of this one. It’s like Analyze This crossed with Basic Instinct. And I dunno what it is with Edward Norton and criminal roles lately, maybe he harbors a secret desire to be in jail. Anyway it’s one of those thrillers where there are lies within lies and everyone’s trying to manipulate each other and there’s no real “good guy” only “the guy the camera’s on most.” It’s exactly the kind of thing I don’t like. So I can’t imagine me bothering to see this movie.
FORCE OF NATURE: THE DAVID SUZUKI MOVIE
In case you’ve been living in a cave since 1960, David Suzuki is the iconic host of The Nature of Things a nature/science documentary series on CBC. In addition to hosting the show, David Suzuki has also been an environmental activist and educator since long before environmentalism was “cool.” He’s also a hopeful kind of guy, which makes his assessments of our mistakes a lot easier to hear than say, Gwynne Dyer’s (he’s into dire predictions). I bet this movie is really interesting. I’d love to see it, if it somehow happens that I’m within range of a theater that’s playing it.
THE LAST TRAIN HOME
This is the Cape Breton Film Series movie for this week (it’s playing Thursday – tonight – at 7pm). It makes sense for them to pick a documentary about workers coming home. A lot of people have families in Cape Breton but travel elsewhere – to Alberta, Halifax, etc. for work. But where there’s a few hundred or maybe even thousand of them, this similar type of migration in China involves FOUR TIMES THE POPULATION OF CANADA. Can you imagine being in the crowd as everyone in Canada up and decides to go the same place you’re going? What a fascinating subject for a documentary.