The other day, my dad was telling me about Paul the Octopus, a clairvoyant octopus who lives at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany. By choosing from among a set of mussels with national flags painted on them, Paul correctly predicted the outcome of every one of Germany’s games in World Cup soccer.
That’s pretty amazing, considering most octopuses are so dumb that they’ll squish themselves down to the size of a pencil and worm their way out of their tanks so they can flop around in the air and die. Either he’s such an octopus genius that he build a secret time machine to see into the future or there’s mystical stuff going on in that tiny brain of his.
Naturally everyone wants to own such a talented octopus. Spain especially wanted to buy him after he predicted that they would win over Germany in the final. The aquarium’s not selling, though, and I couldn’t afford him even if he was. But some days I need a magic octopus to tell me what to do. So I’ll have to settle for the next best thing.