Four years ago, after watching way too much One Tree Hill and McLeod’s Daughters, I got fed up with TV cliches and wrote this. Please enjoy it in lieu of this week’s review, as I will not be anywhere with a movie theater this weekend.
Say you’re a television writer and you’ve got writer’s block, but you’ve got to keep the drama rolling if you want the paycheck that’s going to put food in your kids’ mouths. You’re doing 24 episodes a year, writing flat out. Your house looks like a bomb went off in it. Your kids are whining that they a) never see you and b) are hungry. Your boss keeps thrusting the ratings in your face. Your show is supposedly grounded in reality, so you can’t bring in aliens or magical fairies to poof you out of the corner you’ve written yourself into. What do you do?
You turn to the writer’s ammunition pouch and pull out the surefire guaranteed instant drama pills. Don’t let the fact that these magic pills are known as cliches in critical circles stop you. Remember: your kids need bread. If you’re new to TV writing, let me fill your ammo clip for you by giving you examples of instant drama pill storylines from the one hour drama series SATURDAY NIGHT TRAILER FEVER.
If you’re not familiar with this fabulous yet relatively unknown show, here’s the premise:
Mulleted idiot Joe Bob opens a discotheque with his brother John Bob in their trailer park after they discover they both love to imitate headless seizuring chickens to the beat of porno themes sung by men with voices only dogs can hear.