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Trailer Reviews for April 22, 2011

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS



This seems a little bit like Big Fish, with the whole “looking back on how I joined the circus” angle. Robert Pattinson looks just as blank here as he did as Edward Cullen, and Christophe Waltz is playing yet another guy who seems kind and innocent but is actually dangerous and creepy (it kind of makes me think he may not be acting). The trailer doesn’t really give much of a hint as to what the story is. Young man runs away to join the circus, falls for the boss’s wife, and then there’s some sort of an accident that makes for a great story when he’s old. I guess they’re assuming that everyone who’s going to see has either read the book or is a Robert Pattinson fan and therefore doesn’t actually care what it’s about.

AFRICAN CATS



It’s Earth Day, so Disney has released another nature documentary to encourage people to look after the planet for the sake of cute things. The only one I’ve seen so far was Earth, which was cute, but just used all the footage I’d already seen from BBC’s documentary series Planet Earth. Some of the footage from the trailer seems like it might have been part of the Okovango episode, but I just love kitties, so I might have to go anyway. Those cheetahs with their adorable chirping noises… I just want to hug them. But of course I’d get my face bitten off, which is why I only own a small cat and watch movies about big ones. Plus I get to feel good about myself if I go this weekend because they’re donating part of the proceeds to a nature charity.

REPEATERS



The trailer lists this movie as coming out in 2010, but I guess we’re getting it late. The idea is definitely not a new one. In fact, just a few weeks ago I reviewed Source Code, which is like a sci-fi version of Groundhog Day. Like grieving, there seem to be a series of steps that people who repeat days always to go through: confusion, disbelief, experimentation, reckless behavior, boredom, investigation, and attempting to solve the problem and move on to the next day already. The people in this film seem to be stuck permanently in stage four. This may be the most entertaining stage, but it’s not really enough to carry a whole film. There must be progress. And closure. So I hope there’s more to this movie than the trailer lets on.

TEXTUALITY



Yeah, I hate texting too, girl in the movie, which is why I don’t want to see a whole movie about it. I’m not even sure what the plot is. It’s Canadian, so they probably forgot to put one in the movie. So there’s these two people, right? A man who’s a player, and a woman who’s a player and they… text people a lot. There’s your plot. What a nightmare headache that would be. Three boyfriends all texting you? I’m throw my phone under a bus. I totally agree with the “old dad” character. Enough with the Facebook and texting already and just hang out in person. Maybe then you’d have something non-inane to post in your status. I’m just saying.

THE HIGH COST OF LIVING



Ugh, yet another character-driven wallow fest about a woman cozying up to the guy who ran her kid over. The only difference is that this kid wasn’t born yet. I’m not going to go through this all again. See my comments on Rabbit Hole . But I will say that this film looks like it was shot on a budget of about ten dollars.

LOST JOURNEY



You know, I wasn’t going to talk about this one, because it’s independent, in another language, and probably playing in about two theaters nationwide, but I watched the trailer and thought: “geez, how many people must this have happened to?” I’m guessing it’s a lot. You have to be a pretty strong person to put up with peer pressure and and an even stronger one to resist fun and buckle down to get a degree. Add in the facts that you’re dependent on the people who are peer pressuring you and you’re from a very restrained culture and your disapproving family are thousands of kilometers away, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. I’ve certainly seen too many of these trainwreck people in college to doubt the veracity of the film. I might check it out if I can ever find a copy.

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No Review

Due to a death in the family, there will be no review this week. I will be back to my regularly scheduled posts on Tuesday.

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Happy No Review Day

I don’t know if you’re familiar with “No Review Day,” but it happens every year when the only new movies that are playing are crappy and everyone should be home entertaning relatives and eating junk food anyway.

So here’s my card to you. Happy holiday.

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Trailer Reviews and Predictions for the Weekend of July 9th, 2010


This is a relatively slow weekend for new movies (for the summertime, of course) but that still doesn’t mean you’ll be able to catch up on the ones you missed, because there are three titles, each worthy of someone’s attention (depends who the someone is). They are: Despicable Me (good for families), Predators (good for horror movie buffs), and The Kids Are Alright (for people who are all about the meaningful looks into humanity). Of course, they’re also putting the World Cup Finals on the big screen (in 3d no less), but I won’t mention those because no one in Canada (at least no one who’s ME) cares about soccer.

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Top Ten Computer Animated Movies

Knicknack (1989) - one of the earliest computer generated shorts

In 1995, Pixar began the computer-generation trend in animated movies when they released Toy Story. Fifteen years later its second sequel, Toy Story 3, is in theaters. Between the first and third entries in the toy saga, hundreds of computer animated movies have been produced. Some were amazing box office titans, others were crappy straight-to-DVD releases that came packaged with children’s toys. If you’ve seen Toy Story 3 and are eager to go back through the ranks of its predecessors for some more animated fun, here are my personal top ten favorites in the computer animated movie category.

I based my choices on two things: how fun they are for both kids AND adults to watch, and how well the story manages to suck you in. Extra points were NOT awarded for being in 3-D or having famous voice actors or any of those other gimmicks.

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Twilight in 5 Words or Less

Twilight poster copyright Summit Entertainment

Before becoming an immensely popular film series that effectively ended the private lives of the cast involved with it, Twilight was an incredibly popular book series loved by many teenage girls and their moms and looked upon derisively by those with more than a cursory knowledge of story structure and characterization. I’ll probably get yelled at for this, but bring it on. Here is my review of Twilight in five words or less:

Stalking, angst, sparkles, sap… morons.

Buy Twilight Stuff Cause You Love It Anyway

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I Made a Mess

Excuse my website, it went off its meds and I started digging around it its code. I may or may not have broken something. But don’t worry, I can fix it!… I think.

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